In Search of the Grail

Kathleen Jacoby © 2001

This column builds on the principles found in the book, Vision of the Grail. Far beyond any relic or tradition, the Grail speaks of something much more universal that we are meant to embody and express. In the process, we seek to create the space internally and externally that makes room for this vibration of light to find welcome in us and in the world. It can only happen through conscious intention and effort.

As long as we are determined to point the finger of blame at everything outside ourselves as the source of our conflicts or unhappiness, the grail cannot be found. We are unable to hold light when we see ourselves as victims or not chosen, or unworthy. When we perceive life in terms of insiders and outsiders, better or worse, and confine ourselves and everyone else to narrow definitions, we have constricted our lens of perception. Only a dim or narrow band of light can penetrate - not because the brighter, warmer light is not available, but because we have not framed a housing large enough to hold it. The small view is all we can contain. In order to have a bigger life, we must be willing to change that.

Preparing ourselves for the Grail journey is not about blame, shame, guilt or any other form of condemnation. It is recognition that we are all born into this time of consciousness or lack thereof, and that we tend to be tribal by nature. We came into life with a desire to live, and because we are helpless as babies and very young children, we require the support of others to feed and house us, and to protect us from harm. Therefore, we exchange a remembrance of unity for the perception of our family or peer group, or socio-economic, religious, or any other frame of reference group in which we find ourselves. We "need" that group for survival. As our remembrance of who we truly are dims, our level of inquiry is narrowed by the mindset of our environment. We grow into it, add to it, and may live lives that may be perfectly acceptable to many. However, those called to the Grail feel unfulfilled in some way. We exert ourselves towards making the required living, establishing ourselves in the acceptable lifestyle, and yet as we go may be beset by feelings of lack or depression. Something is missing. We might numb ourselves with drugs, sex, alcohol, acquisition, or pursuit of power…whatever gives us a momentary thrill, or diminishes the pain of emptiness…but in time, the new thrill is old. The emptiness returns. There is a void in our lives.

The Grail journey is a calling. It comes at different times and by various means, but makes itself known to us in some way that will get our attention. The one common factor is that we have to be willing to step out of what is familiar, safe, and known. We have to open ourselves to having our perception of life undergo major surgery. We may change the way we live, work, or think, and find that what we used to do no longer interests us. Suddenly, or through gradual means, we realize there is something bigger…a greater purpose, and the yearning for finding that meaning is the most important journey of our life. As we open to this sense of an expanded reality, life opens doors to new ideas, various paths, and we begin an adventure that takes us where we have not traveled before. Our journey in quest of the Grail truly begins.

We are leaving the familiar and moving into the unknown. And the journey is filled with pitfalls, because there is much that can entangle or sidetrack us. However, when we move forward with unshakable faith in a greater source for provision, we can feel ourselves guided through the minefields. As Jesus, Prince Sidharta, and others learned in their journeys, there are many temptations along the way. Joseph Campbell pointed out in one of his segments in Transformation of Myth Through Time that when the Grail Knights began their quest, if they came upon another knight and tried to follow, they faced dire consequences. What was one Knight's path was another's undoing, so we have to be aware that there are many paths, and what is right for one may not be for another. Therefore, in our own process…we must develop several important qualities as we begin this journey: Tolerance, discernment, tenacity, and willingness to begin anew. As we allow life to reveal truth, and we uphold faith as our ally, new worlds open as we are now on the path in search of the Grail.